The Heart of Haven
by hootnbutte
Summary: "But why me? Everyone in Haven hates me for one thing or another and I can't blame them, everything that has happened in this town is my fault. This town would be better off if I'd never been born" or so Nathan thinks.


**The Heart of Haven**

Nathan sits on the park bench overlooking the hill where he broke his arm when he was seven, the first time his trouble kicked in. It's always been the spot he comes to when he needs to think, and boy did he need to do that now. He'd made such a mess of things and he was at a loss as to what he should, no, what he could possibly do now.

He thought about everything that had happened over the last few hours, the latest twist in this mixed up world intent on taking everything that mattered away from him. Had it really only been a few hours?

He recalled the look on Duke's face, the pain he was in and the blood coming from his eyes, not to mention the anguish when he thought Jennifer was dead. And then there was that voice, "he's as good as dead", so cold and unfeeling, coming from the woman he loved, but no, Audrey had been right, Mara was someone she had never wanted to be. When Mara had spoken, Nathan had reached for her, tried to talk to Audrey and Mara had just laughed. She had taunted him telling him Audrey was gone and she was never coming back. When he pushed it Mara became angry and threatened everyone in the cave.

He put all thoughts of Audrey on hold and shut down his emotions to deal with the situation at hand. Mara had said Duke was dying and he knew Duke was going to be necessary to help fix this mess. As distasteful as it was, Nathan had agreed to let Mara go if she would save Duke and Jennifer. Mara joyfully agreed telling him about all the fun she would have now that she was free. She placed her hand where Audrey had re-troubled Duke and modified his trouble yet again, back to how it originally worked. Jennifer was still alive, but in a coma and she needed to get to the hospital quickly. Nathan was sure during all this that Audrey's personality was still there trying to come through based on some of the movements that Mara made, but it could have been just wishful thinking on his part.

Duke was furious with Nathan for agreeing to help Mara, and wasn't willing to listen to what Nathan had to say. In the end, Duke let Mara adjust his trouble only so that he could get Jennifer out of lighthouse and to the hospital. Meanwhile Dwight managed to get Vince and Dave out and took everyone away once Duke's trouble was adjusted. Dwight hadn't said anything about what Nathan did in front of Mara, but Nathan was pretty sure he'd hear about what a mistake it was later.

While everyone is getting out of the lighthouse, Mara took the opportunity to continue taunting Nathan, thanking him for shooting Agent Howard, ending the cycle and allowing her to escape her punishment and how his misguided faith, that Audrey was stronger than her, had given William enough time to allow Mara to remember, EVERYTHING and no one was going to stop her fun now.

Nathan sat on the bench watching his breath in the cold air, but unable to feel how cold it actually is, all he feels is an ache in his heart, he's made such a mess of things, he can't help feeling responsible for all the bad things that have happened to the people of Haven and now that Mara is loose there was no doubt more people would be hurt. He kept running the 'if only' statements through his mind. If only he hadn't shot Agent Howard; if only he hadn't believed that Audrey was stronger than Mara, if only he hadn't fallen in love with Audrey Parker when his dad had warned him against it? But no, that was one thing that was impossible, with every fibre of his being he couldn't imagine that he wouldn't have fallen in love with Audrey Parker.

All the bad things that had happened in Haven were because he loved Audrey so much and that would never change. He'd messed things up when he couldn't bear to let Audrey go and had shot Agent Howard. Then he thought he could make things right if Audrey killed him, but even that got messed up and now things were only going to get worse. It got to the point where Nathan contemplated how Haven would have been better off if he had never been born.

Nathan was so lost in thought, he didn't even notice that an elderly woman had walked up beside the bench Nathan wass sitting on. She turned to him, "you're wrong you know", startled, Nathan looked up at the woman quizzically.

"Wrong about what?"

"You're wrong that Haven would have been better off if you had never been born."

"How did you..."? Nathan started to ask, but she cuts him off.

"It's my family's trouble, once every time the troubles reappear someone in our family is given a gift that allows another person the ability to see an alternate reality for Haven and to give them insights into their path going forward. It's usually someone that has a deep connection to the town. We thought something was wrong this time, that we hadn't been called when the troubles came back, but finally it came to me this morning that I needed to find you. You can call me Eve, by the way."

Nathan shook his head "But why me? Everone in Haven hates me for one thing or another and I can't blame them, everything that has happened in this town is my fault."

"Are you so sure? Sure, the Guard is mad at you, you've created chaos in what they considered the natural order of things. They were all comfortable with that 27-year cycle to continue forever. As for the others, they really don't know what happened do they? They just need somewhere to channel their pain. All I know is that you are obviously important to this town, more important than you realize and that you thinking Haven would be better off if you had never been born has more far reaching impacts than you realize. Are you willing to see what would have happened?" She asks, as she holds out a hand to Nathan. "If so, take my hand."

Intrigued by what Eve has said, Nathan takes her hand, after all, at this point he has nothing left to loose. As he takes her hand, she asks, "What do you want to see first?"

"My dad", is the first thing Nathan thinks of.

"Which one?" She asks, which surprises Nathan, to him the Chief is the only one he would ever think of as being his dad. Without him even saying anything, she acknowledges his thoughts "very well".

The next thing Nathan knows, he is standing in the middle of the police station. There's a buzz of activity, but Nathan doesn't recognize anyone working there. A cop is yelling for Garland and is headed for the Chief's office. Nathan takes off behind the cop eagerly. Nathan starts to smile at the thought of seeing his Dad again, expecting to see Garland sitting at his desk, complaining about somebody not doing their job, but instead he stops short when he gets to the door of the Chief's office. Garland, instead of sitting at the desk, is leaning over a cleaning cart emptying the garbage cans. The cop at the door, tells Garland "when you're finished cleaning up in here, one of the interrogation rooms needs a troubled mess cleaned up again. Make sure you don't miss anything, we'll probably have an another interrogation this afternoon." Garland responds "yes sir, right away sir" and barely looks up at the police officer, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Thatat was definitely not the attitude Nathan would have expected to see from his dad.

Nathan turns to his guide, "I don't understand, why isn't he the Chief, he always wanted to be a cop", remembering his chance meeting with Garland back in 1955. Eve explains "you were never born so you never went back to 1955 and Garland never met the nice young man in front of the police station who told him he would be a great cop one day. Instead, he witnessed a cop manhandling a troubled person and telling that troubled person they were a plague on the town. Garland, being just a child and coming from a troubled family, took this to heart. He kept his trouble a secret and tried to control it through alcohol and cigarettes. The stress of trying to control his trouble was too much for him and he was never able to hold down any job for long. Without Garland, and then you leading the Haven Police and protecting the troubled, the Police department was easily taken over by the Rev's people."

Garland takes his cleaning trolley and leaves the office. A man, obviously the Police Chief, comes into the office, loosens his tie and sitting down, gets on the intercom system and tells the person on the other end to "get Max Hansen on the phone"

Nathan turns to Eve, "but how is that possible, he died?"

Eve responds, "not in this time line he didn't, in fact Max Hansen has done pretty well for himself, or so he thinks since you were never born"

They immediately jump over to what used to be The Haven Herald where Max Hansen is just finishing up a phone conversation, "well Chief, it looks like we're at an impasse. If you're not going to give me the information I want, I'll just have to take it." He hangs up the phone and yells over his left shoulder, "Sam, did you change the lead story so that it sounds like it was tragic accident that killed those tourists that stumbled into town?" There is a yell from the back room "Yes Boss". Then he turns over his right shoulder, "Jordan, the Chief isn't giving me what I need, have you managed to get any information out of Stan yet as to what the cops are planning?"

Jordan arrives on his right, an anxious look on her face "No Max, he's not saying anything, I really don't think he knows, can't you just let him go?" Max reaches out to touch her cheek, "Now Jordan, did I ask your opinion on this, darlin', just do as I ask and I promise to give you a break for a bit. You know how important you and your trouble are to the Guard." Jordan takes a hitched breath in and closes her eyes as Max touches her cheek.

Nathan could see the emotions running across Jordan's face, he knew her well enough to know it was eating her up inside to use her trouble to hurt someone, but he understood how addictive it is to actually feel someone's touch when it's been deprived for so long. Max would have her just where get wants her, being able give her the touch she craves while her trouble has no impact on him.

Nathan was almost afraid to ask, but did anyways, "but where are Vince and Dave? Vince was the leader of the Guard, what happened to the Haven Herald?"

"Oh, the Haven Herald is still here, but it is run by the Guard now. They use it as their own form of propaganda to keep people in line." Eve continued, "Vince and Dave no longer run the paper. Back in '81, Max went after Vince because he wanted to lead the Guard. Garland wasn't part of the Haven Police and wasn't able to warn Vince that Max was coming after him, as he had in your timeline. Max managed to surprise Vince and killed him taking over the Guard. Dave continued to manage the paper for all these years, working under Max until just this past year when he was killed by the stuffed black bear he had killed years ago."

"But Audrey and I saved him, we burned the..." Nathan stopped, realizing he never existed things would have been different, but Audrey still would have tried to save Dave, Nathan had no doubt of that unless something had happened to her. He suddenly realized that no one had mentioned Audrey and that he had saved her from going off the cliff when she first came to town. What if...quietly he spoke her name "Audrey".

"Relax, Audrey is alive. She managed to get out of the car just before it went over the embankment"

"Then why didn't she save Dave?" Nathan questioned.

"Audrey has a very different relationship with Haven PD than she had with you. Audrey did come to town as an FBI agent and was teamed up with a partner from Haven PD, but as we've already seen, Haven PD isn't as accepting of the troubles. Audrey still helped the troubled as best she could, but in some ways, Audrey had to work against the Haven PD to do that. The first case that brought Audrey to town, Jonas Lester, where she figured out that Marion Caldwell could control the weather. Audrey was trying to help her when she went after Ted, but while Audrey was trying to calm Marion and the storm down, her partner shot and killed Marion, justifying it that he was protecting the town."

"No, that's just not right, Audrey wouldn't let them just kill the troubled. But what about Bobby? Ray? Landon? Audrey helped all these people, Dwight would have helped cover up the troubles" Nathan asked.

"Audrey didn't let them kill the troubled when she was able to stop it, but she ended up working around the Police who wanted to be rid of the troubles and Max who wanted to use the troubled to his own advantage. Max took in Bobby when Rev Driscoll and Hannah threw him out after discovering he was troubled. Bobby works for Max, an enforcer against those that would threaten his control of the troubled. Audrey figured out too late that Ray was causing the musical problems and he was killed by Haven PD again to protect the town. Audrey did save Landon, he left Haven with his son, not long after his mom died."

"Hannah wouldn't have just blindly followed the Rev, she took care of Bobby, she understood about the troubled" Nathan commented.

"Perhaps in your Haven she did, but you weren't here to be her friend and Hannah never made a connection with a troubled person like you so she never saw another viewpoint. Hannah was a bit of an outsider growing up; Rev. Driscoll manipulated her into his way of thinking about the troubles. All she ever heard was the hate and bitterness that her father showed towards the Troubled and knowing her mother left her because of the troubles, she became as intolerant as her father."

"As for Dwight, he left town shortly after his daughter was killed. Max wasn't sympathetic to the situation, considering Dwight's daughter 'collateral damage'. Dwight realized then that the Guard was not really the protectors of the troubled they claimed to be.

"You really need to understand, Audrey never had the same working relationship that she did with you, cases just weren't solved as quickly, and if Audrey didn't manage to get the troubled person under control before her partner arrived it usually didn't bode well for the troubled person. Or if word got around to Max, if he felt the trouble could be used to his advantage he wouldn't hesitate to manipulate them into working for him. The best Audrey was able to do was to get the Troubled out if Haven."

"No" Nathan shook his head, "Even if I wasn't around and Audrey didn't get along with her partner, she would have still have had Duke to help her solve these cases."

In an instant, Nathan and Eve found themselves on the galley of the Cape Rouge. Duke was sitting at the table, a bottle of scotch and a glass in front of him. Duke looked pretty much the same, save for the long scar down his right cheek. He was nursing his scotch deep in contemplation.

"After all you've seen so far, do you really think so?" Eve questioned back.

"Duke loves Audrey, how can you tell me he wouldn't help her?" Nathan sighed deeply.

"Remember what happened when your troubled kicked in the first time. You broke you arm sledding, Amy threw up, Wade couldn't handle it and the other kids were freaking out. Duke stepped up and helped get you to the hospital. Duke didn't have a good home life and helping you gave Duke a purpose, he decided there and then that he was going to protect you. In his own, sometimes warped way, he has been trying to protect you ever since. Without you around, Duke never learned compassion towards the Troubled. He learned from his father all about their family curse; the surge of power that they get when killing a troubled person. Duke learned well what his father taught him. He believes killing the troubles is the best way to save the families and killing Audrey will stop the troubles for good."

Duke receives a phone call but Nathan only hears the one side of the conversation. "Crocker, what's the news?... about time you located her... where at?... okay, I'll be there in a couple of hours, lets get rid of the troubles for good."

Nathan's head shot up, as began to put things together. "He's going after Audrey isn't he, why didn't she go into the barn?" Nathan found the anxiety building within him, the need to protect Audrey as strong as ever.

"Audrey didn't go into the barn because she never fell in love; never had someone she wanted to protect above all others, she never had you." Eve explained, "but I think to really understand this, we need to go back further." Immediately, Nathan and Eve were back in 1955 when Sarah first arrived in Haven. Eve continued her explanation. "As you have probably guessed, you and Duke never went back to 1955, Sarah arrived in Haven not knowing what a dangerous place it could be for her. Roy Crocker killed Stuart Mosely under Sarah's care, she killed Roy when she caught him with Stuart, but it was too late and she blamed herself for Stuart's death. She eventually did meet up with the Teague brothers and helped the troubled, but she never forgave herself for not protecting Stuart. You were never in 1955, Sarah never met you; never fell in love; never had a child. The Colorado kid, James, was never born. She went into the barn, when Vince asked her to, because she blamed herself for every troubled person she wasn't able to save. When Lucy came to town, she again helped the troubled, but as you know she tried to get away, she only went into the barn after Max threatened to kill all the troubled children if she didn't't and she didn't want that on her head. Audrey straight up refused to go into the barn, she ran away and has been on the run ever since. The meteor storm destroyed a good portion of Haven and now most believe that killing Audrey is the only way to stop the troubles.

Suddenly Nathan was back on the park bench. He really didn't like this moving through time/space especially with his trouble. It left him very uneasy. Eve was back standing beside him. "So do you really think now that Haven would have been better off if you had never been born?" She asked.

"But so many people have died because of me."

"And many many more would have died and will continue to die if you weren't around. Contrary to what the people of Haven might think, Duke killing Audrey isn't enough to end the troubles. It seems that you, Nathan Wuornos, are the only one that can truly save Haven. Remember, Audrey came back as Audrey because that is who she most wanted to be, that is the key."

Nathan's mind was swirling, he had so many questions. "You said Duke killing Audrey wouldn't stop the troubles, why not?" Nathan turned to ask Eve, but she was nowhere to be seen. Nathan shook his head; he didn't just dream what happened, did he? He had so many questions he didn't know where to start. It figured that once again the town of Haven was leaving him with more questions than answers. He recalled how angry Mara would get when he mention Audrey's name after her initial taunting and the small movements Mara made that were so much like Audrey. He was positive Audrey was still in there. This gave him something to work with and a renewed sense of hope that maybe, just maybe, he would get Audrey back and together they would be able to stop the troubles for good.

Just then, he heard his name being called. "Over here", he replied.

Dwight came over the rise, "Glad I found you, we've been looking everywhere. Looks like we've got a problem with a trouble person and I think you're the only one that might be able to get through to them. With that, Nathan stood up turned to Dwight "let's get going then, you can explain on the way."


End file.
